Smile time

14 Feb

After the last serious posts here is something to have a smile for!

Police in London have found a bomb outside a mosque..
They’ve told the public not to panic as they’ve managed to push it inside.


During last night’s high winds an African family were killed by a falling tree.
A spokesman for the Birmingham City council said “We didn’t even know they were living up there”.


Jamaican minorities in the UK have complained that there are not enough television shows with minorities in mind, so Crimewatch is being shown 5 times a week now.


I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pick pocketed.
How could anyone stoop so low.


I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a fifth floor balcony shaking a carpet.
I shouted up to him, “what’s up Abdul, won’t it start?”


A Muslim dies and finds himself before the Pearly Gates..
He is very excited, as all his life he has longed to meet the Prophet Mohammed.
Having arrived at the Gates of Heaven, he meets a man with a beard.
“Are you Mohammed?” he asks.
“No, my son. I am Peter. Mohammed is higher up.”
And he points to a ladder that rises into the clouds.
Delighted that Mohammed should be higher than Peter, he climbs the ladder in great strides, climbs through the clouds coming to a room where he meets another bearded man.
He asks again, “Are you Mohammed?”
“No, I am Moses. Mohammed is higher still.”
Exhausted, but with a heart full of joy he continues to climb the ladder and, yet again, he discovers an even larger room where he meets another man with a beard.
Full of hope, he asks again, “Are you Mohammed?”
“No, I am Jesus… You will find Mohammed higher up.”
Mohammed higher than Jesus!
The poor man can hardly contain his delight and climbs and climbs, even higher. Once again he reaches a larger room where he meets a man with a beard and repeats his question:
“Are you Mohammed?” he gasps as he is, by now, totally out of breath from all his climbing
“No my son…..I am God. But you look exhausted. Would you like a coffee?”
“Yes, please, my Lord.”
God looks behind him, claps his hands and calls out: “Hey Mohammed, two coffees !!!!”



Posted by on 14/02/2012 in Humour


Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

8 responses to “Smile time

  1. 68ghia

    14/02/2012 at 08:54

    Think you may very well be lynched for this, but I had a good laugh!!

    • paul

      14/02/2012 at 09:30

      Did consider the possiblity, but my warped sense of humour overcame any misgivings I may have had 🙂

  2. Sarchasm2

    14/02/2012 at 09:06

    Run forest! LOL

    • paul

      14/02/2012 at 09:31

      See me go………………………………..>

  3. Twolips2

    14/02/2012 at 09:31

    Love the last one!
    Happy Valentines Day xx

    • paul

      14/02/2012 at 09:42

      It’s the one I’m expecting a backlash on – glad you enjoyed it though!

  4. adinparadise

    14/02/2012 at 13:30

    Thanks for the laughs, Paul. 😉 Happy Valentines day to you.

  5. colonialist

    14/02/2012 at 21:56

    These are funny, but it will be funnier still if the PC brigade get knickers all knotted about them!


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