RSS

Category Archives: Humour

Apologise to all Dogs


dog1

My dog sleeps about 20 hours a day.

He has his food prepared for him. He can eat whenever he wants.
His meals are provided at no cost to him.

He visits the doctor once a year for his check up, and at any other time during the year if any medical needs arise.
For this he pays nothing, and nothing is required of him.

He lives in a nice neighbourhood in a house that is far larger than he needs.
He makes no contribution to the running or maintenance of the house.
If he makes a mess, someone else cleans it up.

He has his choice of luxurious places to sleep. He receives these accommodations absolutely free.

He is living like a king, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever.
All of his costs are picked up by others who go out, work hard, and earn a living every day.

I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head…

dog2

My dog is a Member of Parliament!

 
1 Comment

Posted by on 13/05/2014 in Black and White, Humour, Musings

 

Tags: , , , ,

Future happenings?


 

ANC Election sticker

ANC Election sticker

 

Dear Employees:

As the CEO of this organization, I have resigned myself to the fact that

Jacob Zuma is our President and that our taxes and government fees will

increase in a BIG way.

To compensate for these increases, our prices would have to increase by

about 10%.

 

But, since we cannot increase our prices right now due to the dismal state

of the economy, we will have to lay off sixty of our employees instead.

This has really been bothering me since I believe we are family here and I

didn ‘t know how to choose who would have to go. So, this is what I did.

I walked through our parking lots and found sixty ‘ANC ‘ bumper stickers on

our employees ‘ cars and have decided these folks will be the ones to let

go.

I can ‘t think of a more fair way to approach this problem. They voted for

change… I gave it to them.

 

I will see the REST of you at the annual company picnic…….which WE can

now afford….!!

 
8 Comments

Posted by on 07/03/2013 in Black and White, Humour, South Africa

 

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

What a cheek!


 

stirring the crowds

stirring the crowds

Photo – City Press

 

Take me back, I’ll be good – Malema

 

The very cheek of some people never fails to amaze me.

My favourite ‘wannabe president one day’ Julius Malema has now suddenly had a change of heart. He is now pleading with the ANC to take him back into the party.

Yet just the other day he was spouting out against ANC saying that he didn’t need them in his life!

After seeing the newspaper headlines  Take me back, I’ll be good – Malema I got to musing if Malema hasn’t got an alternative motive for wanting to be brought back into the security of the ANC party?

Currently there are more than 60 charges that have been brought against Malema. These include racketeering, money laundering, multiple charges of fraud, corruption, and a small matter of owing the revenue services R16 million in unpaid taxes, penalties and interest.

The charge of racketeering that was added against him is very serious as it carried a possible life sentence.( At least Malema and our president Jacob Zuma both share the dubious honour is being charged with racketeering)

Since judgement was obtained by the revenue services I haven’t heard that they followed through and attached any of Malema’s properties or assets in Gauteng or Limpopo.

Now suddenly Malema and his band of fellow expelled cronies, ousted ANCYL spokesperson Floyd Shivambu, and former ANCYL secretary general Sindiso Magaqaare, are willing to behave and act appropriately if they could get their old jobs back. Does Malema really think that president Zuma has such a short memory and that he has forgotten the verbal attacks that he made against the president?

Does Malema think that if he should be welcomed back into the ANC fold that certain high up members will pull enough strings to make all his problems slowly disappear or be ignored? We have seen this happen often enough that it could become a possibility. I can’t think of a better reason for Malema wanting to get back into the ANC party. Never mind that in years to come we might all look back at the ANC and know that instead of being the oldest liberation movement in Africa that they became the most corrupt political party in Africa!

Another thought I had while sitting waiting for the hi-way to be cleared of some serious carnage this morning was: Who is still funding Malema’s lavish life style, as he doesn’t have a paying job or any funds of his own?

 
4 Comments

Posted by on 18/12/2012 in Humour, Musings, South Africa

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Enough said!!


thanks to jollygoodjokes.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Just heard that there is an advert being aired here in South Africa where someone asks “Steve” if he was the one who gave Zuma a bond!!

For those who dont live here in SA the Steve advert is run by FNB promoting their products above those of other banks.

 
4 Comments

Posted by on 23/11/2012 in Black and White, Humour, South Africa

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Origins of the Loch Ness monster?


I received an email yesterday showing two ostriches swimming in the sea off the coast of South Africa at a small fishing village of Yzerfontein. I got to wondering if there many years ago someone living close to Loch Ness may have had an ostrich that escaped and swam to freedom across the loch? The picture of the ostriches showing just their necks and head sticking out could to one not familiar with an ostrich look like a monster swimming in the loch!

Just joking!! Here are three of the pictures I received. It is interesting to note that an ostrich does not have webbed feet like ducks, so those legs of them must have been treading water at an astronomical rate 🙂 A thought also crossed my mind, in this area there are plenty of sharks to be found. Were they too confused by these large birds swimming in the sea to actually attack them and have an easy meal?

 

two ostriches swimming in sea

 

Using the slipway to walk out of the sea

 

 

Walking away quite normally back to the bush nearby!

Yzerfontein is a small harbour town with about 1200 inhabitants on the west coast of South Africa about 90 km north of Cape Town. The main sources of income are tourism, and fishing

 
16 Comments

Posted by on 10/10/2012 in Envioronment, Humour, Photo, South Africa

 

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Zapiro strikes again!


Zapiro on the ANC conference taking place

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I must give all credit to Zapiro for managing in one cartoon to highlight a few going’s on here in South Africa. He has included Cele and the building lease scandal, Angie Motshekga and the non delivery of schools books (I believe the transport company may be family related?), the buying of a new plane for the president when there are enough anyway, and of course my loyal friend Julius Malema up to tricks again! Also a street vendor selling tenders.

 
9 Comments

Posted by on 27/06/2012 in Humour, South Africa

 

Tags: , , , , , ,

Can you use Zuma and respect in same sentence?


President Zuma
Zapiro has once again added a new twist to the famous shower head cartoon which appeared after the president had slept with a friends daughter knowing full well that she was HIV positive. The president who did not use a condom said he wasn’t worried, as he had a shower after having sex and this would stop him getting the HIV virus!
Now we have an artist, Brett Murray, who did a painting with the presidents penis hanging out of his pants causing a total meltdown in the ANC camp.
Zapiro has modified a picture of Zuma and replaced the presidents penis with a shower head! The words ‘Sex Scandal, Corruption, Nepotism, Cronyism” seem to be coming from the shower. These are all things that president Zuma has been accused of in the past yet he is still clinging onto the office of president of South Africa.
If we are trying to become a second world country, how come we still have a president that the rest of the world sees as a liability and a joke?

Spear of the nation

http://mg.co.za/article/2012-05-17-anc-irate-over-spear-of-the-nation-artwork

 
12 Comments

Posted by on 21/05/2012 in Humour, South Africa

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,